Everyone has certain values to themselves. Some people have very expensive values like a car or a boat or something very massive. Other people have little things like a handwoven sweater or a necklace. It may be small but have lots of value to the person. Mine are kind of like that. Have you ever asked yourself, why do people really need such big stuff? How does this make it valuable to you? What makes something valuable? What is value to you?
I open my eyelids and feel the breeze from the fan smoothly pressing on my face. i gently get up and rub my finger tips on my eyes to get the sand off and i go to the bathroom for a 30 second piss. take a nice hot shower and use my new Gillette shampoo and some old spice body wash. then dry off and go downstairs and that's where my morning starts.
First I find my black 30 gig ipod video and plug each of the two earplugs in my ears slowly as i turn on the ipod. I hit the center button and scurl around the artist section. looking for either some Lil Wayne song or T.I. I see a song called My Life (feat. Lil Wayne) by the Game. I click the center button and listen to all five minute and twenty seconds. as i do that i toast a bagel with cream cheese on it, with a tall glass of orange juice.
That kind of food is only for the weekdays when i have school but on the weekend when my whole family is home then we have a nice hot meal. bacon that is greasing on top of the broiler sizzling and popping. quarter inch thick Bisquick pancakes made from a heated pan. Warm and steamy right from the pan. orange juice with maybe a mug of hot chocolate.
"Get like me, stunting is a habit have you ever seen a Chevy with butterfly doors," my cell phone rings and its a new text message. i and constantly on my phone either talking to people or texting. i love my phone. it is and env 2 black.it has a key board and it has the Internet. my phone is very valuable to me and my family. the reason why it is important to my family because if they need to reach me for some reason then they can call me. i hate losing my phone, i lose it all of the time in my house. it is either under my couch or in random cabinets or some other weird place.
Sometimes while I'm in the shower i put my ipod into a speaker system and then i Blair some Lil Wayne or any kind of rap.it wakes me up and it gets me pumped to start the day. while i scrub my hair and rock out. i even have a shower mix that i made. just so i could listen to my music. some say I'm addicted by I'm just in love with it.
My morning is very special and relaxing to me. If i don't have a good morning then i get cranky. i need to listen to my music and have my phone on me at all times.
8 comments:
Chris Menard wrote about his weekend and weekday mornings. His weekend and week mornings are very different. He also wrote wrote about his cell phone.
His cell phone was only described in one little paragraph so i know what it looks like but i have no idea if he uses it or what it can do. His mornings were described very well but i was confused between his weekend and week day mornings.
The overall strength of this essay was the ton of detail that it contained. There was some unnecessary detail like the 30 second piss no one wants to picture that Chris.
My advice is to add more detail about the phone and take out some from mornings
CHris M. wrote about how he takes a shower in the morning and his i-pod. I think that Chris likes his morning shower more because he even made a mix for it.
I found that his description of his mornig was very good, when he said " as i do that i toast a bagel with cream cheese on it, with a tall glass of orange juice." This was very good.
The overall strength of this essay I would say was his introduction because it was very creative and asked good questions such as " How does this make it valuable to you? What makes something valuable? What is value to you?"
What I would advise is to take unneccesary details out such as the "30 second piss." Also I would go over your essay and double check for errors.
In Chris's essay he is saying that everyone values different things because everybody has different things that they enjoy more than other people. Chris values two things. He values his morning routine and his cell phone.
I thought that Chris's morning routine was vividly and clearly described. "Bacon that is greasing on top of the broiler sizzling and popping. Quarter inch thick Bisquick pancakes made from a heated pan." When I read this part of Chris's morning routine, it was so vividly described that I could very easily picture what he was saying. Also, it sounded so good that I wished I had bacon and pancakes in front of me. He did a great job describing his morning routine.
In general one of the essays over all strengths is the detail. He described it so well that he even told you what kind of soap he had. Also, I liked how you told the reader where you lost your phone and what ringtone you had because that gave the reader a little information about yourself. Chris did a very good job about what he was talking about.
One suggestion Chris may consider would be to take out the part about you peeing and say you go to the bathroom, it would make it much better. Also, he should re-read his essay because he had a couple spelling mistakes. Other than that I though Chris did a good job!
I am not really sure what the author is trying to say about value. He doesn't really mention that in his essay so I don't know what he thinks is truly valuable. The author describes his morning routine as one of his objects. However, i'm not sure what his second object is because it could be either his ipod or his phone. I think that his main object for the object with money value is his cell phone.
The author describes his morning routine with the most vivid details. Chris gives you every detail there is to his morning routine so you really get an idea of what it is like. For example, the author says, "I open my eyelids and feel the breeze from the fan smoothly pressing on my face. I gently get up and rub my finger tips on my eyes to get the sand off..." This helps me picture exactly what it is like for him to wake up each morning. I can picture this scene in my head clearly because of the details included.
One of this essays overall strengths was the introduction. The author stated facts and/or opinions about values and what is valuable to people. He also added questions that made you think about the topic and what he is going to write about next. His introduction gives you an idea of what the essay is going to be about without actually telling you.
I would suggest, using clearer words to describe the items and really focus on one item with a money value because it is unclear which one you are really talking about. I would also suggest including what is valuable to you at the end and explain more about how the items are different and similar. Overall, it wasn't that bad.
In Chris's essay, he states that everyone values different things, some more sentimental than others. What he values is getting up on a calm day and having breakfast with his family and his cell phone.
I think that the value he described best was when he gets up in the morning. I thought this because of how he used deatils about what shampoo he used or how good the food looked. (Which made me hungry.)"Feel the breeze from the fan smoothly pressing on my face." I really liked this quote because of his use of personification.
I think that Chris's strength was description because of how he quoted the music from his ringtone or exactly what the food looked like to him. While other people thought it was gross how he included weird details, I think it added voice to his essay. Knowing Chris and his humor, I actually was laughing picturing him saying these things because he would be the kind of person to do that.
The only thing I would maybe improve in this essay would be to seperate your values a little more because it was a little confusing on what you were merging together and I had to read a few parts over to get it well. Also maybe proof read. But other than that it was great! Good job Chrissss. :)
Chris, I thought you’re introduction was interesting and you asked some good questions and made good comparisons.
I think that your priceless value of your morning routine was the best described because just the way you described your breakfast on the weekends made me hungry when you said,” Bacon that is greasing on top of the broiler sizzling and popping. quarter inch thick Bisquick pancakes made from a heated pan.”
I think that the overall strength in this essay is your introduction because you really question the meaning of value and how some people value small things while others value big things.
If I could give you one piece of advice it would be to describe every paragraph a little more and add some detail to your values.
The author chris said that his most valuable things in his life are his morningns and his cxelll phone.These things are very different. His cell phoneisd his valuable object. His pricless thing are his mornings.
The best thing that he described was his mornings. I really liked the part when he said "I click the center button and listen to all five minute and twenty seconds. as i do that i toast a bagel with cream cheese on it, with a tall glass of orange juice"
The overall streangth of this essay was the detail.I really enjoyed the detail of his weekend morning breakfast. There were details i did not enjoy so much when he told about his thirty second bathroom break.
There would be a few pices of advice i wopuld suggest. I would add a better description about your I-pod. Also i would add a conclusion paragraph. The final thing i would suggest would to capitalize at the begining of your scentences.
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